Still sick.. still lower abdominal pain.
Aug 11, 2008
I don’t know why I seem to be so unable to grasp the pain involved with crohn’s disease. For some reason, I keep thinking that “this time”, I will get better. Honestly, I think deep down, I believe one of these times, medicine or treatments are going to actually make my crohn’s disease “go away”. That one day, the doctors will say something like “Oh gee.. we thought you had crohn’s disease, but really it was just a little inflammation and now it’s gone.. you’re cured.”
I admit it.. I do think that sometimes.
And then, I tell myself that no.. I had the colonoscopy, I’ve had the bloodwork and the various CT scans.. I take the medicine and I still hurt, I still have inflammation, hell, an abscess no less… I tell myself this is real, wake up.. take your medicine, take your norco, stop feeling sorry for yourself and just accept that this is the way it is. period.
But, when I wake myself at 3:30 in the morning, whimpering in pain… and have to drag myself out of bed, to the kitchen for pain medicine.. knowing a warm bath is the mostly likely thing that will get me through the next 45 minutes until the pain medicine kicks in… well.. it’s hard not to whimper some more, shed a few tears, say a few ‘damn it’s and yes.. feel sorry for myelf.
Do others have it worse off that me? Oh yes.. with crohn’s, colitis and various other illness.. I know.. and please, I do feel for everyone who suffers pain. But, I feel sorry for myself too. Wahhhh. I’m depressed, but not like wallowing it.. I am on an anti-depressant, it helps but I wouldn’t call it my “happy pill”.
Not to mention.. I’m a little scared. What if this abscess is filling back up.. that would just so suck.
|
Related Keywords: abscess, blookwork, colonoscopy, CT Scan, depression, ibd, ibs, inflammation, pain medicine, warm bath
One Response to “Still sick.. still lower abdominal pain.”
I have had Crohn’s for 50 years and during my colonoscopy this summer I was hoping they would say they had been wrong and what I had could be cured. I think that is one thing that seperates Crohn’s patients from other disease’s. We don’t complain a lot, we live and work with the pain and we are optimistic. And I gotta tell you, we have made wonderful strides in the last few years. When They first found my problem they didn’t have a label and all they could do was a resection (2 of them at 10 years old) Then just lots of prednisone in the 70’s and more surgery. Today we have wonderful pain medicine, great drugs to help treat it and tests like the colonosscope. Now I am just waiting for a cure (and sleeping a lot and taking a handful of medicine)
By Linda on Nov 10, 2008